finally got what i wanted

you know as little girls your whole life you are told that you go to school, you get a job you fall in love you get married you have babies and you live happily ever after.

But for me i thought that becuz of the type of guy that i usually liked, i started to set myself up to possible live alone. no honestly i thought ok since i have never gotten the attention that i deserve from those kind of guys then i may as well set myself up to learn to live happy alone.

I have struggled with the way that i look my whole life and it never really became a real issue until i was in high school. that was when i played sports and was in the choir and musicals and involved in alot of other things. while a lot of my friends were dating. But becuz i didnt have the typical look or wasnt a particular weight i just became the buddy. i was the one that all the guys i liked would come to for girl trouble. which broke me every time.

I struggled to change. I still struggle to change. but i decided one day that i wasnt going to settle. i wouldnt settle for anything less then what i deserved. becuz not to toot my own i think i am a catch. so i just put it out in the universe that i wanted to find a man that would love me for me.....all of me. i wanted to find someone that would love me the way that i am now and that if i change and ended up back the way i am now that he would still love me...for me.

.....and i found that......

I found the one that loves my giant butt the way it is. i found the one that will look at all my giggly bits and tell me i look gorgeous. i found the one that has made me learn to love myself as i am. i found the one that looks at me and says i want to spend the rest of my life with you just the way you are.

At least i know that when i walk through the rest of my life with other people looking at me and not thinking am a beautiful i just look down at my hand and know that i have someone that vowed to love me the way that i am.......and that is all i ever wanted.

Just a thought

double standard

so there is a report (and a video) that some eccentric reporter in Italy on some red carpet something or other grabbed David Beckham's "Golden Balls". yup thats right i said it someone in a crowed of people just watlked right up and grabbed the man's junk.

now aside from be totally jealous of her (hahahahaha) it got me thinking about what a double standard it is for men and women. if that had been his wife Posh and some guy had walked up and grabbed her crotch or her chest (i say chest cuz Posh doesnt have boobs) security would have been all over that guy like a dirty shirt and he would have been arrested and charges would have been laid and it would have been all over the press. but becuz it was a guy getting his junk grabbed all that happened was he got ushered away with a bit of a stunned look on his face.

so what i want to know is, why is that ok? why is it that women get away with so many sexually inappropriate gestures towards men but men get the book thrown at them? i dont think that is fair....even though i would love to touch david beckahms.....ok i am stopping

Just a thought

I always knew she was dumb but really.....

so the most irritating "celebrities" on the planet to me are that obnoxious spencer and heidi. you know who i am talking about. i have never met to people that i would like to hit with......i dont know anything.....in my life. i would rather be Paris Hilton's BFF then deal with those 2. and now i have a new beef with them.

so i was noticing that just before Christmas they had fell off the radar a little and i was doing my happy dance. but oh man 2010 and they have opened a whole new can of stupid.

The 23 year old.....23......bubble brain wannabe pop star (that is a blog for another day in itself) Heidi has had some massive work done. and i am talking the works. she has had this shaved, nipped, tucked, enlarged, pinned back and sucked out. now here is my beef......SHE IS 23 YEARS OLD.By the time that she gets to an age that she actually may have need plastic surgery, she is going to look like that cat lady.(look her up if you dont know what i am talking about).

I think that if she was going to get any surgery she should have found out if it was possible to do a brain transplant. or a personality injection....or nipped voice (as in you shouldnt be singing so shut the hell up).

I just....i dont get it. What kind of message is she trying to send to all the stupid blond girls out there that want to be like her (ok i am sorry i am sure there are stupid brunettes that want to be like her too) I actually heard this girl say she wanted her boobs a size H for Heidi.....REALLY.....who thought this girl was smart enough for all that plastic surgery?

Just a thought

these women are crazy

OK so i am going to make an admission here. My name is Alana and i watch the Bachelor.

But like i dont know if ABC is just pushing for good ratings but like did they go to a looney bin to get all these women this season? almost everyone is crazy.

Like are these women stupid or do they not own tvs? its the Bachelor. the whole concept behind the whole show is for him to date a bunch of women so that he can find the one that is right for him. so why is it that this season whenever he goes off with someone one on one these women turn into psychopaths?

but it is like a train wreck i just cant stop watching it. i think i am waiting for the season that one of these women just goes ballistic and starts killing all the other girls.

my fave thing is when they are leaving and they are like i could have any guy i want to. ok so then why are you on a tv show fighting 25 women for 1 guy?

Just a Thought

A case of the fake people

you know what bothers me? those people that are in your life that you arent allowed to get rid of......like family.

so i am planning my guest list for my wedding and man oh man i dont want half these people there. but because they are related to me, i am told that i have to invite them. honestly they dont care about me any other day, so why are they going to care about me today? oh i know why. because there is going to be free food and free booze. so they come and eat it all and drink it all and leave and i never hear from them again. what is that?

or there are those people that are in your life and all they bring is drama from beginning to end but you cant get rid of them because they are family

or there are those people that are in your life and you like them in small.....small doses but they keep trying to worm their way in

so since i cant really get rid of my family like i would like to sometimes i decided that i would post the lyrics to a song that i have had in my head for about 4 days now becuz it applies to my life right now.

Case of the Fake People by TLC
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/tlc/caseofthefakepeople.html

check out the lyrics they are pretty good for this kind of situation

just a thought

New Job Applications

It has been a very long minute since i have written a new blog. there has just been so much going on in life that i haven't had a chance to sit down and write anything. That and the fact that i forgot my password and didn't really care to take the time and find out what it was......hey i am just being honest.

so since that last time that i was on here i have become engaged. that is exciting news right? well maybe not to everyone.....well most people didn't last the fall out of me becoming engaged. isn't that interesting how peoples true colours come out when something life changing happens. the thing is, is that it was good life changing not bad. but still the after effect of me becoming engaged is me finding out who my REAL friends are.

People that i thought would be happy for me and stand by my side no matter what have fallen to the wayside. and people that i thought may have been to young to understand the magnitude of what getting married is all about has stepped up to the plate in a way that has blown my mind and made me love them more.

so i have decided to make some changes. i am going to start re-evaluating the way that i let people become and stay apart of my life. i think that people should have to apply to be my friend. not just mine, i mean people should have to hand out applications. it would be like you meet someone that you think that you can be friends with you give them an application. they fill it out and send it back to you. if you like how it sounds you call them in for an interview. and if all goes as planned they accept the job of becoming your friend. once they accept the position they sign a contract.

the contract says something like this: i ______________ promise to be a kind, trusting, loyal, funny, outgoing, SUPPORTIVE, compassionate, forgiving, honest and loving friend. if i at all break any of these things listed on here and anything else that my apply in being a good friend i will be fired and cut out of your life.

now i realize that a lot of people lie on job applications and that is why you make them sign the contract so that if they break it you can fire them no questions asked.

hmmmm i think this is a good idea. i think i may just print some up....what do you think?

Just a thought

should i out a cheater

i read an article that was interesting. it is a situation that i has been brought to my attention recently. and wanted to know what others thought

By the time you hit your Saturn Return, the probability that you’ve been on the giving or receiving end of a romantic infidelity is about as high as your credit card debt. But what happens when you’re privy to the less than virtuous activities of a friend or acquaintance’s significant other? The moral conundrum of whether or not to out a cheater is fraught with shoot-the-messenger peril and weighted with Golden Rule considerations. And the potential outcome of ratting out a rat is just as complex and diverse. Should you risk life and limb to unveil the truth or keep your nose out of someone else’s business? Two ladies argue the costs.

HELL YES, TELL HER!
Years ago I lived with my best friend who was a gay guy. He had become friends with a girl he worked with. So the four of us—me, my friend, his friend, and her boyfriend—started to hang out a lot. My friend started to develop a crush on his friend's boyfriend. One night they hung out at the beach alone and messed around. When I confronted him, he finally admitted to me what had happened. I had become friends with the girl by this point. I told my roommate he needed to 'fess up. He didn't. Then I went to the boyfriend: “You tell her or I will.” He didn't. I finally told her what happened. Ultimately it sort of worked out in her favor because she was getting fed up with her boyfriend (he was an alcoholic and had cheated before) and had developed a crush on another guy she worked with. So my telling her freed her to go and explore that. After that, she and I actually became best friends. She said I was the only person in her life who was honest with her. And she appreciated that. The biggest driving force was that it happened in our circle of friends. The four of us kept hanging out and she was the only one who didn't know. And that's not fair. I got to the point where I couldn't not tell her. I knew that I was going to lose at least a few friends over it, maybe all three of them. I didn't want to get involved. But it just came to the point where I had to. In the end, wouldn't you want to know? "Claire McCracken," 26, Kansas City, MO

IT'S NONE OF YO BUSINESS
When confronted with evidence of a friend's boyfriend's cheating, you're, of course, compelled at first to tell her about it, but I've never found that to be a good thing in the end. Depending on how crazy about him she is, she's going to do one of four things: 1) Call you a liar, especially if your evidence is hearsay, and it usually is.2) Break up with him, but ultimately resent you for throwing a monkey wrench in a -- in her mind -- awesome relationship.3) Stay with him anyway, which will make things insanely awkward between the three of you going forward.4) The less frequent dream outcome -- she thanks you profusely, dumps him and listens to your boy-judging wisdom forever and ever. I know the fourth reaction isn't unprecedented, but it has never, ever happened to me. I always get the other ones. It just isn’t worth it, and besides – when someone is frequently cheating you, don't you always kind of know it? You either choose to ignore it or not, and if you're going with the former, you don't want someone else butting in and essentially telling you you're wrong for doing that. Especially not a friend.Anonymous, 25, New York City